Kindling Ministries, Ron Allen's Blog

Forgiveness is Foundational

Matt. 6:9ff "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." If we hold on to an offense it will eventually turn into hate. Then, we are in real trouble. 

Three Reasons to Forgive.

1.  Because God has forgiven me. Col. 3:13 "Be ready to forgive, never hold a grudge. Remember God forgave you, so you must forgive others." God will never ask me to forgive others more than He has forgiven me. 

2.  Because resentment doesn't work. Job 5:2 "To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do." It's not what has been done to us that is determinative, but how we respond to what has been done.

3.  Because I'll need forgiveness in the future. Mark 11:25 When you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive you your sins too." Refusing to forgive burns the very bridge I need to cross over to get into the Kingdom of God.

How do I get over a hurt?

1.  Never retaliate. Prov. 20:22 "Don't take it on yourself to repay a wrong. Trust the Lord and He will make it right."  

2.  Deal with it quickly. Eph. 4:28 "Don sin by nursing your grudge. Don't let the sun go down with you still angry. Get over it quickly."

3.  Forgive whether on not people apologize. Eph. 4:32 "Forgive each other as readily as God forgave you in Christ."

God allows us to be hurt to teach us how to respond like Jesus. 

Luke 6:27-28,35 "Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you.Pray for those who mistreat you. You will have great reward."

Finish the hurt, feed the healing.

 

Leadership Qualities

What are common characteristics of those whose lives and ministries seem to bear much Kingdom of God fruit?

1.  Visioning capacity. Can you see what God is doing next in such a way as to clearly articulate the bull's eye of what God wants us to do next?

2.  Self motivating. Are you energized to step into the possibilities that God has placed before you with daily engagement and long term commitment?

3.  Team building. Can you share the tasks with others as to release them to partner with you building on one another's strengths?

4.  Kingdom inclusive. Do you reach beyond your own little huddle of friends to touch others with the gospel of hope, love, and care?

5.  Marriage partnership. Are you and your spouse in agreement about vision, values, priorities, and tasks?

6.  Restoring relationships. Have you ever rebuilt a broken relationship? Are you willing to live in peace with others as much as it lies within your power to do so?

7.  Committed to grow. Are you a learner? Do you desire to advance? Are you teachable? Are you willing to risk?

8.  Value community. Do you truly need others? Do you love others? Do you honor and prefer others above yourself?

9.  Coach others to fruitfulness. Can you recognize others gifts and strengths and release them to their place on the team? Are you committed to see others succeed?

10. A person of faith. Are you able to exercise a consistent faith in God's ability to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we can think or ask? 

 

A Mark of Maturity

Galatians 6:1,2  “Brothers and sisters, if a person is discovered in some sin, you who are spiritual restore such a person in a spirit of gentleness. Pay close attention to yourselves, so that you are not tempted too. Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

There are some Christians who have the uncanny ability to turn on their brother or sister at the very time support and encouragement are most needed. John Wimber used to say, “The army of God is the only army in the world that shoots it’s own wounded.” We need to heed the counsel of scripture when a member of the Body of Christ sins.

Matthew 11:28-30  “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

The Pharisees imposed burdens, Jesus came lifting burdens. Are we lifting burdens or imposing them?

In Galatians 6, Paul is telling the church that when a saint sins, their job is not to punish and be vindictive, but to forgive, heal, and restore.

It was the church’s responsibility corporately to be redemptive in their ministry to the fallen.

While the sin is undefined and unexpected, it was not habitual, but an unexpected moral failure. So the church had an assignment to proactively redemptively help. This was not a license for the saint to be a busybody or validate their nosiness. But the concern was that the sinner not be overwhelmed by guilt and lost forever, or not be so intimidated by the power of sin as not to deal with it. The church is to help the fallen do what they cannot do by themselves.

The word “restore” means to mend a net or to set broken bones for healing to begin. It is in the present imperative tense. This means it is a mandate, and it is an ongoing process. It is the same word used in Ephesians 4:12 as the word “equip.” It clearly means creating a climate for repentance, forgiveness, healing, and restoration. 

Restoration is to be carried out in a spirit of gentleness. This means the church must be careful not to cause further injury. This is not because we are to be soft on sin, but because we are to rescue the sinner. It’s the kindness of God that leads us to repentance. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

We are not guaranteed a sin free life as saints. 1 John 1, makes that clear. But we are promised grace for the trial and cleansing for the repentant. That is also why Paul gives a warning to the those who are restoring to be careful. No one is ever as vulnerable to the evil one as when they think they are above sinning themselves. Spiritual pride opens the door to failure. Those who are “spiritual,” are those who walk in humility, obedience, and love before God and before other saints. They say, “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” They are willing to give the same grace to others, that God has extended to them. 

Matthew 7:1-5  “Do not judge so you will not be judged. For by the standard you judge, you will be judged, and the measure you use, will be the measure you receive. Why do you see the speck in your brother’s eye, but fail to see the beam of wood in your own eye.? Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me remove the speck from your eye,” while there is a beam in your own? You hypocrite, first remove the beam from your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck in your brother’s eye.”

Judging is a boomerang. What goes around, comes around. It’s the law of sowing and reaping. Let’s live life on God’s terms. God’s way is the best way. We are free to choose any way we want. But we are not free to avoid the consequences of what we chose. If we have made bad choices and we confess our sin, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sin, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. May the church always be a safe haven for the fallen and be proven in maturity by our ability to restore the fallen.

 

 

 

Counseling Youth, Book review by Carolyn Allen

Josh McDowell’s Handbook on Counseling Youth, (Thomas Nelson, 1996) is a book co-authored by Josh McDowell and Bob Hostetler.  McDowell and Hostetler have developed this resource of the fifty major issues facing today’s youth for pastors, parents, teachers and youth workers.  The authors address these fifty issues, knowing many teens find themselves in struggles and crises that are difficult even for adults.  Those who care for these troubled youth have frustrations and fears about how and what to communicate to these young people.  They truly want to help them face the challenges of life with emotional caring and compassion with a sound foundation of biblical absolutes.  Josh McDowell’s Handbook on Counseling Youth is a resource written to offer this kind of help for both the young person and the ones caring for him.  McDowell and Hostetler offer this book to concerned adults who feel ill equipped and in over their heads to help the teens who come to them.  This resource is not intended to take the place of nor delay the counsel of a trained counselor or crisis intervention if needed.  The authors recognized the need for a work specifically targeting issues facing today’s youth and providing information and support for those who care for them.

Before addressing the major issues facing today’s youth, McDowell and Hostetler lay some foundations for Christian counseling.  Although there has been a growing acceptance of and interest in Christian counseling, problems still arise between the church and psychology, primarily due to one of two extremes: (1) Some highly respected Christian voices attack attempts to introduce psychological theories and counseling techniques into the church.  They say Jesus is the answer…one just needs to trust Him, pray more and everything will be ok.  Some say we don’t need to understand our feelings; that God just calls us to know and obey His will.  (2) Others take the opposite approach.  They say the only thing people need is to get in touch with their past and it will work out.  Deliverance is found in support groups and 12-step groups.  They couch their ideas in Christian language, but their approach is indistinguishable from that of a non-Christian.

 McDowell and Hostetler say there is truth in both positions and justifiable fears behind the criticisms.  Jesus is the answer, obedience to God’s will is a key issue; on the other hand, understanding one’s past is often revealing and healing and crises do often require help from other caring people – sometimes professionals.  Dr. Gary R. Collins is quoted on this issue by the authors:  “According to the Bible, Christians are to teach all that Christ commanded and taught us” (p. 6).  Jesus taught about issues relating to theology and to relationships.  These issues bring people to counseling today.  Continuing with the quote, Collins says “When Jesus dealt with (such) people he frequently listened to the inquirers and accepted them before stimulating them to think or act differently.  At times he told people what to do but he also led people to resolve their problems by skillful and divinely guided questioning” (p. 6).

 Even among Christians who acknowledge the place of counseling in the church, there is debate about true biblical counseling.  McDowell and Hostetler are not trying to prove, reprove or improve differing views on true biblical counseling, but do communicate several assumptions that underlie the content and recommendations in this book.  These assumptions are based on the principles and teachings of the Bible, which they believe to be the authoritative, infallible Word of God.  Their assumptions are:  (1) God is love and God is truth, (2) Though not all crises or problems are spiritual (in their cause origin their correction), they are interrelated with a person’s spiritual beliefs and spiritual state, (3) A crucial (and integrating) factor in achieving healing and wholeness is a personal relationship with Christ, (4) Healthy relationships are the linchpins of mental, emotional, and spiritual health, (5) Healing of the mind, emotions, and spirit is possible, (6) The goal of biblical counseling is not happiness, but Christlikeness, and (7) Healing and wholeness will not come without sound biblical teaching and obedience to the Word and will of God.

 William Backus, Ph. D is quoted as saying, “The major premise of Christian counseling is that truth makes people free when they believe it and obey it” (page 7).  Dr. Larry Crabb says, “Wholeness cannot be achieved apart from Jesus Christ” (page 7).  McDowell and Hostetler state that “more important than techniques, however, will be a thorough and constant reliance upon the Holy Spirit of God” (page 7).   The usefulness of this resource book is definitely connected to a fundamental belief in the foundational principles taught in the Word of God.

 Some qualifications for ministering specifically to youth include:   (1) empathy, (2) warmth, (3) genuineness, (4) a humble spirit, (5) emotional stability, (6) relationship with Jesus Christ, (7) reliance on the Holy Spirit, and (8) a knowledge of fundamental biblical teachings.

 Many would say, if asked, that the goal of them receiving counseling is to be happy.  The authors state, however, that the object of ministering to youth is “not happiness but wholeness” (page 12).  Wholeness would include spiritual wholeness, emotional wholeness and relational wholeness. 

 Dr. Gary R. Collins identifies five basic techniques of ministering to youth:  (1) attending, (2) listening, (3) responding by reflecting, questioning, confronting, informing and supporting and encouraging, (4) teaching, and (5) filtering.

 In counseling youth, one must be aware of his or her limitations and obligations.  The involvement of the youth’s parents is usually crucial.  The goal of the counselor should be to bridge any gap between parent and child as soon as possible.  The issue of confidentiality may arise.  Never promise to not tell anyone until you hear the whole story.  There may be legal requirements to report any sexual abuse or illegal behavior.  The counselor should be aware of some risks involved in working with youth: manipulation, dependence, and countertransference.  Never counsel anyone behind closed door - meet in public places, set clear limits regarding your involvement, limit interaction with members of the opposite sex to group settings, make your obligations and limitations clear.  One should also know if and when it is time to make a referral and be aware of behavioral, emotional and physical signs that would warrant such a call. 

 After laying a foundation for counseling youth and how to offer Christian counseling the authors address the fifty major issues facing today’s youth in nine major categories:  emotional issues, relational issues, family issues, sexual issues, abuse, disorders, addictions, educational issues and vocational issues.   

 At the beginning of each chapter the authors present a synopsis with an overview of the contents of that chapter.  This allows for quick location of specific topics and helps provided.  There is (1) an opening case study, (2) an overview of the problem and its prevalence among youth, (3) the primary causes and effects of the problem according to experts in that particular field, (4) a biblical perspective of the problem, (5) the response a parent or worker may be able to take in preventing or addressing the issue and (6) a listing of further resources, including Scripture, recommended for further reading.  The responses (5) recommend a six-step response utilizing the acrostic “LEADER” (Listen, Empathize, Affirm, Direct, Enlist and Refer).  Many highly regarded professionals such as William Backus, Ph.D., Dr. Gary R. Collins, Dr. Larry Crabb, Frank Minirth, M.D., Paul Meier, M.D., and Dr. G. Keith Olson are quoted in their area of expertise.

 This resource book, Josh McDowell’s Handbook on Counseling Youth, (Thomas Nelson, 1996), is designed in such a manner it is easy to find a specific issue, identify its causes and effects, review a biblical perspective of the issue and form some truthful and helpful responses to the youth concerning the issue. 

 

 

 

 

Disciplines for Disciples

Disciplines don’t bribe God to do something. Their practice places you in a position to receive what God is doing. The following are some basic beginning practices that will focus your life on receiving grace to live in the ThroneZone, where Jesus Christ is Lord.

1. Daily prayer and worship. I can do more than pray but I cannot do anything till I pray. The prayer of agreement isn’t getting God to agree with me, but receiving the grace to agree with God. I will saturate everything with prayer.
2. Daily study of the Bible. I will get into the Word till the Word gets into me. I will see life from the perspective of the Bible and the Bible from the perspective of life. God’s Word is God’s will.
3. Regular, responsible participation in the total community of a local church. I will participate in worship, study, fellowship, and service.
4. Daily share my faith, being naturally supernatural. I will witness in lifestyle, conversation, attitudes and actions. I will not gossip or slander, but speak the truth in edifying love.
5. Daily practice Biblical stewardship of my time, talent and treasure. I will tithe my income and my resources. Though some in the past have abused this teaching, the correction to abuse is not disuse, but correct use. My tithe is not a debt I owe, but a seed I sow. Tithing brings increase. Jesus is Lord of all or not at all.
6. Daily demonstrate a godly marriage, home, and family. If I can be Christ-like at home, I can be a Christian anywhere, not perfect but progressing, not finished but maturing.

 

 

Maturing Disciples

Heartland Church values learning, growing and being fruitful in the Spirit. We believe that to say yes to God is to say yes to the ongoing teaching ministry of the Holy Spirit in our lives. The Holy Spirit leads us to Jesus and teaches us the things of God (John 14:26). As we listen and obey we are transformed in character and conduct to be like Jesus (2 Corinthians 3:18). As we obey, we mature and demonstrate the fruit of love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Growing this way not only as individuals but as a family at Heartland requires continual instruction and application. We value small groups and classes as one way to reach this value of maturing disciples.

To learn is to grow. To learn is to change. As we commit to see life from the perspective of the Bible and the Bible from the perspective of life we are challenged to repent and change old ways of thinking and embrace the truth of God’s Word. We highly value the Word of God and in our life together we find ways to get into the Word until the Word gets into us. We don’t want to just study Scripture for information, but for revelation and transformation. As we receive revelation and embrace change, we become more like Jesus.

As we study and apply the Word of God we endeavor to be raised up to the standard of Scripture in our experience, not lower Scripture to our limited experiences. We don’t want our lives as Christ’s disciples to be defined by culture or political correctness, but with God’s help we desire to allow the Bible to define all of life including our culture.

We value the message of the Kingdom of God and are progressing in living out our lives as a member of the Kingdom of God. The message of the Kingdom is good news and a radical invitation to change not only our own lives, but the lives over which each of us have influence. Living in the ThroneZone (where God rules and reigns) enables us to share what we receive from the Holy Spirit with others. We realize we are just one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.

 

Celebrating Life

At Heartland, we value the throwing and attending of parties. We are learning to recognize and validate the people getting together, eating and drinking and playing and laughing together for no reason in particular. Part of the full, “abundant life” that Jesus gives his students is the simple act of enjoyment: enjoying creation, enjoying one another, enjoying good food and drink, enjoying the young and old among us, enjoying God in the context of a party. Actually enjoying and celebrating life is a way of saying “thank you” to God for his gift of life.

This value of enjoying and celebrating life is based on the practices of Jesus himself. When Jesus walked around Palestine all those years ago, he had a reputation for being a bit of a party-animal: “The Son of Man comes feasting and you call him a lush” (Luke 7:34). Now, neither Jesus nor any of his followers ever advocated drunkenness (Eph 5:18), but what kind of life did Jesus live that he ended up with that kind of reputation? Apparently the picture of Jesus as grumpy, boring, and stuffy is significantly wrong. When Jesus promised his students the same kind of joy he had within himself, they didn’t wince, because they knew from being with him that he was a genuinely happy, pleasant person. His first miracle, after all, was to extend a wedding party by making more wine (John 2:1-11)! People generally loved to be around him because he was a joyful person who enjoyed life.

And when we look forward to when God will renew and restore creation and humanity, we don’t see an endless church service. Instead we see all of life redeemed and transformed, made “as it should be.” It will be a time when all our daily activities, all our working, playing, eating, drinking, talking, singing, listening, partying and praying will be gathered up in celebration of all that God is and has done. We bring a bit of that future into the present when we throw a party and take time to celebrate and enjoy life right here and now.

 

Embracing Destiny

At Heartland, we have a strong emphasis on equipping people to step into their destiny, living the adventure of the kingdom of God. We want to see people grow into doing the things God has gifted and called them to do, because we believe everyone has a deep, God-given desire to make a real difference in people’s lives, to do good work, to bless others in their labor. We devote a lot of time, energy, and resource into helping people discover God’s distinct calling and gifting on their lives, launching them into their destiny, and encouraging them along the way.

We believe that every Christian is an ambassador of the kingdom wherever they are, and that most Christians are called to express the kingdom in the marketplace, in their normal jobs. You don’t have to become a professional church worker to be a passionate Christian fulfilling God’s destiny for your life. God forbid we all turn into church workers! We believe God has called us to live out the kingdom in our homes, families, schools, and jobs, and that as we pray “Let your kingdom come … on earth as it is in heaven” we are also partnering with God to make that a reality in our spheres of influence.

Embracing destiny means we take God’s calling seriously, and that each member of the body of Christ has a part to play in transforming our world.

 

Healing Hurts

Heartland values healing hurts wherever they are found, because the kingdom of God is about restoring people to wholeness of body and soul. This value is rooted in a clear-eyed vision of the pain and brokenness in our lives because of sin. Rather than put on a happy face and shove real problems under the rug, so to speak, we want to see our lives healed and made whole, fully alive as God intended us to be.

We pray for healing because it seems to have been a major component of Jesus’ ministry, and it was a major part of what he taught his disciples to do the first few times he sent them out: “Tell them the kingdom is here. Heal the sick, raise the dead, touch the untouchables, kick out demons” (Matt 10:7-8). Healing was and is a significant sign of the coming of the kingdom of God, so we practice it. So as we pray “let your kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven,” we recognize that the manifestation of God’s kingdom will include people’s lives being healed and restored.

But this is not a magic formula or a lucky charm we wave over people’s heads. Not everyone is healed when we pray. This is because there is an element of mystery to the coming of the kingdom. It’s here but it’s not yet here fully. It’s already but it’s not yet. It came and still comes in an unexpected way, and we don’t have all the answers. But more people get healed when we pray than when we don’t pray. So we pray; we ask God to heal; we ask God to expand his kingdom on earth; we ask God to bring wholeness of body and soul to everyone inside our circle of influence, exercising the authority of God to bring healing to broken hearts, health to broken bodies, wholeness to broken lives.

 

Experiencing God

At Heartland, worshiping God is our highest priority, because our lives are unavoidably shaped by who or what we worship. We believe that when the church gathers to worship, there’s a lot more going on than just a group of people singing songs together. In worship, we experience God together. We believe that God is present with his people, and in worship we are actually with Him. As we express thanks, adoration, love, commitment, and devotion to Him, we are “drawing near” to God, and we believe that God himself is also drawing near to us (James 4:8; Hebrews 4:16, 10:22).

Because we believe that God is alive and well, and in a good mood, we believe he communicates with us today. So we practice listening to God (not as spooky as it sounds) as well as speaking and singing to him. We value conversational worship, where we respond to God’s “voice” and move with the rhythms of God’s Spirit (again, not as spooky as it might sound). Most of the time this conversation is expressed in song, but we’ve also seen it painted, danced, enacted, and declared.

But the experience of God extends far beyond our gatherings. God inhabits the air around us, and indeed dwells within us, and He is constantly present and at work in the world. We believe that wherever we go, God is already there. So try as we might, we can’t leave God’s presence when we leave a gathering. We want our experience of God to expand to encompass and drench every aspect of our lives, so that in every conversation, every task, every relationship, every moment we are conscious of and listening to the presence of God with us.

At some time in the future, God will complete his mission of renewing creation, of “making all things new.” Then will be fulfilled what the ancient Scripture says:

“Behold the dwelling place of God is with humankind. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:3-4)

When we gather to worship, experiencing the presence of God together as his people, and as we learn to become aware of his presence with us every day, we are declaring and enacting God’s future in the present. As we experience God in small and big ways in our everyday lives and our larger gatherings, we are experiencing a little bit of our glorious future ahead of time.